*baby new year.

Happy New Year! It's 2010, people, and you know what that means: time for quiet reflection on a year gone by, a wistful nod to the good times and a sheepishly gleeful farewell to the foolish ones, a careful study of 365 days of accomplishments and struggles so that one can wisely learn what to take into January and what to leave firmly behind in December.



Or you could just stay up too late watching episodes of Roseanne that you've seen before and didn't enjoy the first time, wondering where people find the energy to do things like running marathons and washing a load of laundry when you can't even find the energy to resolve to do those things.



I adore resolution-making, in theory. It's terrific, the miniature thrill of making a contract with oneself, the promise of boundaries and goals and achievements, the vision of a healthier, saner, more productive, better K. Problem is, I can't keep—or even remember—a proposed lifestyle change for longer than 10 minutes. Then I find that lovely, fragile resolution shattered into a thousand pieces and I feel like an ass.



It's a setup for failure, and frankly I have a very busy schedule of self-sabotage to manage already, thankyouverymuch.



The problem may be that my resolutions are either too vague ("I will take better care of myself. Meh, that sounds hard.") or too restrictive ("I will not so much as LOOK at a carbohydrate. Ooh! Bagels!").



So most years I don't resolve to do anything at all. Which, I fear, is how we reached the corner of Struggling to Pay the Mortgage and Who Is That Person There in the Mirror; She Looks Rough.



I think for 2010, I shall be resolute. Right here, in front of god and the Interwebs, I make this solemn vow: Starting today, I will get more sleep. I will stop watching TV shows I've already seen or don't care about, and start reading things that I haven't and do. I will exercise accidentally.



I will use my camera. I will use my kitchen. I will use my brain.



I will follow fearlessly anything that makes me laugh, and I will, with practice, confront the things that make me most afraid. I will talk to my grandma more. I will work harder and earn things and spend every possible moment with my nieces. I will eat three pieces of pizza instead of four. I will treat myself less harshly and blog every day and be less competitive. I will not give my BiL a hard time.

But, just to be on the safe side, I will start with getting more sleep.