Today is Halloween, blahdeeblahblah. I am to this day as Scrooge is to Christmas. Real life is scary enough, thank you very much. Today I was visited by a superheroand someone calling herself "Downtown Julie Blonde."And I found some timely costume options, should you need any last-minute ideas for uncomfortable ensembles to don before trunk-or-treating. (This appears to be a church custom I was until now unfamiliar with, wherein...

Good afternoon, children! Today's word is "memorandum." Can you say memorandum? A memorandum is a corporate announcement of impending doom. A career obituary, if you will. Can you say "obituary"? It's what you say to someone who's been laid-off. As in, "Oh, bitch. You, Gary?" Those of you not in publishing may not have gotten the memo, but as I believe I mentioned yesterday, THESE ARE SCARY FUCKING TIMES. And I don't swear much...

I'm growing weary of starting every post with "these are scary times" or "my job—and those of thousands of other Americans—is in jeopardy due to the tailspin economy" or "can't talk now, building bunker."I'm really glad that all those banks got all that free money, but if they want us to reach into our wallets they're going to need to make sure we have jobs because that's what pays for the pants, which is where the pockets are.If...

Holy lateness, batman! It's been a helluva day. Pros: Planning ended a full 24 hours early. I may have scored JBSH a refrigerator on the cheap. I just ate dessert. I interpreted "casual" wear at work today to mean a glorified sweatsuit. J is snoring.Cons: The fancy-schmancy $0.50 lunch container I bragged about here is defective (go figure); the adorable trap-door is nonfunctional. Planning was long and restless-making, and marked...

I'll be in planning for the next two days, so posts will come later than usual. For now, I leave you with this. Someone should be whipping these up for me, stat."In Grandpa Chin's opinion, his wife's greatest invention were her tofu fritters. They're essentially Asian hush puppies. Tofu, scallions, and bread crumbs are mixed with a splash of sesame oil and plenty of bacon, molded between two spoons,...

Frankly I'm disappointed in you, my readers. No one appeared to notice my mention of FIVE KILOMETER exercise-type activity. Full disclosure: I may have lopped off the end of the route in order to saunter back with J, T, and the Fatman. But there was running. That has to count for something. Buoyed by the mind-clearing, back-breaking (a woman of my—aherm—proportions is not meant to pound the pavement) jog, I was feeling peckish...

Oh, Mondays, but you ARE a cruel mistress. The past two days have been a delicious escape from reality. Re-entry will be bumpy, but there was goodness.1. It was wicked beautiful all weekend. The kind of loveliness that rests on this corner of the nation for only a few weeks per year, but carries with it the scent of burning fires, blistering burgers, and lurking chill. Le sigh.2. T-Fin called today to confirm the spelling of his...

This was titled "A Sari Sight." Who did Elizabeth Hurley piss off at People?(Photo by Punit Paranjpe/Reuters/Land...

Dear readers, I have come to a startling realization on the subject of my monthly expenditures. Money spent on food/booze/the buying of company is DIRECTLY proportional to the relative level of over-age pouting.This is disturbing in part because it is a dreary day, and copy chief, office manager, photo coordinator, copy editor, and production coordinator are all taking the day off. Meaning I am an island. I have been insanely...

"What the heart wants is intimate conversation. The rest is an excuse." Turkish saying, from the excellent "An Insider's Guide to Eating Like a Turk", Gourmet, October 2...

These are some trying times, people. Just when you think your only choice is to tread water, almost 20% of your coworkers get laid off and it's time to swim for your life. In an effort to distract myself from Big Life Decisions (nothing was ever accomplished in my life that didn't follow a hefty dose of denial), I meme-d ... me. The Omnivore’s Hundred(from Andrew at the Very Good Taste blog)Here’s a chance for a little interactivity...

Dear Brooke,Please send me that coat. Also your watch. And your ageless skin. And some of that I-have-a-secret happiness would be nice. Oh, and maybe some of those green grapes behind you. Those look good, too. Your friend, K.Dear Madonna,I'm terribly sorry to hear about your recent hardship, but with people trying to paint you as a cult-member/health-obsessed/control-freak nutjob, this sort of look is more Tom Cruise on Oprah...

Last Tuesday's virtual retail therapy was a smashing success. (I even got letters telling me what a wonderful, life-changing experience it was to read about all the cool things out there that only I, as a single lady with more than a few spare hours, have the leisure time to explore. Full disclosure: It was one letter. From my mom.) However, I have nonetheless decided to make the roundup a regular feature. Think of it as my gift...