*lady of the lake.

"Where the hell have you been? We depend on you for constant updates on your life's minutiae! We are desperate to know what you had for dinner! Your blog has changed our entire outlook! We can't return to a life of Spanish-language soaps and Jughead comics!"

Calm down, folks. I was here:



We have a lot to catch up on. I've had a case of Cabernet and introduced my cleavage to boiling pasta water in the interim.

I missed you, too!